MJK :)

never allow yourself to be treated as nothing by another person whom you value so much, if there’s no sense in waiting, then move on. If you feel you’re not valued by that person like you do, then let go. It’s about making wise decisions, not about making yourself the foolish one...

for this is what my soul deeply yearns and what my heart truly desires.

dO yOur besT.. aiM fOr eXceLLenCe.. aNd GoD wiLL dO tHe rEsT!

Saturday, July 30, 2011

let's just say he's dead......(to be continue)

father and son...... i feel bad and sorry at the same time for my little boy, bad cause he might not be able to see his dad... nor feel his dads love.... and sorry cause i can't do anything about it. it's exactly my 38th weeks and 5 days today, and been floating in air.... i'm going to give birth soon and still i have so many worries in life... all through out my pregnancy i felt so alone... although the father of my baby knows about it i don't feel like he cares. well what to expect, i only prayed for a baby so God gave it to me i forgot to ask God to give my baby a good father. so in prayers we should ask exactly for things we want to have. but while there's still chances we can ask again right? so here i am still hoping and praying that one day he might realize things and be a father to my son. he has a good work and can provide at all, but i never demand for anything, only for my delivery but still he can't or he doesn't want to.... he should know it.. even if im not asking for it.... but what to do he doesn't want to....he's willing to give his name and happy about that.. but i want his name and his love for our son.. its hard to make someone to give love if they dont want to right... i know god will provide for us... for 9 months been crying most of the time cause of my situation.... but i have to be strong for my son... sooner or later he will be here... depending on me... god gave me a wonderful gift... so i must take care of it as well... if he doesn't want to give help or anything even love, it is okey... it hurts but i have to face reality and life must go on... it's all about my son now and not me... i have to be strong!
i want my son to have a father, a man he can look up to while he is growing.. someone he can talk to with things we cant... well i guess i just have to face the fact that it wont happen anymore. it hurts me to see that he will grow up knowing only me... ha cant say the word "dad"... he wont be able to call his dad "dad"...

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